I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
