Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
