He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
