Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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