What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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