You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
