If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
