No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
God, I missed his penis.
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