And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
