You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
