I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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