So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
