You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
