She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
