Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
