Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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