Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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