I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
