so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
