Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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