Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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