I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
