please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
