i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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