Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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