There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize