I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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