if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
