I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
