hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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