And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
