I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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