You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
