So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
