I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
