YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
