sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
