shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
