She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
What a dumb baby whore.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
