I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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