it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
