Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
