I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You left your phone here
Wait...
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