omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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