I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize