it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
