cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize