just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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