Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
