He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
