sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
