I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
