We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
