Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
