I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize