oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
