just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
