He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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