Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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