he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Life is so much better after having sex.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
