ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We need to rekindle our bromance
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
