Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
