another moral hangover. fuck.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
