Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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