Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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