you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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