life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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